| The Romanovs & Ceaușescus never saw it coming the Marcoses, waving from the balcony, mistook the shouts for cheering until the barricades went down despots should always keep a helicopter on standby in the back garden In the House of Special Purpose the Romanovs, bejewelled and bullet-proofed, shared two chairs, awaiting further instruction royal Martyrs-in-Waiting When Nicolae on the balcony told Elena to shut up we knew it was all over because when dictators warn restless crowds ‘stay quietly in your seats’, Elena shouting out for silence, the firing squad is drawing straws for the blank cartridge While the crowds were tearing down the barricades in Pennsylvania Avenue the President was tweeting, calling to Melania, immobilised, unsure which dresses could be left behind forgetting even Imelda (mournful millipede), abandoned shoes, 12,000 pairs Warning! When beheading The Hydra remember it responds by growing extra heads |
